Recruiting is for nerds.

And for schools that suck at football. Only in places like Lawrence, Kansas are sports fans ecstatic after the football managed to score three points in a brutal loss to a regional rival for the second consecutive week. The reason? Sherron Collins, a high school senior in Chicago, decided that he would attend the University of Kansas next year and play ball for Bill Self.

Momentum on this decision had been building for weeks. Now, I know none of the people involved. I live hundreds of miles away. My opinions are based entirely on what people have been writing, anomalously, on the message boards of the two main contenders for Mr. Collins’ services: Phog.net for the Jayhawks, and illiniboard.com, the clearing house for the Fightin’ Illini of the University of Illinois.

Illinois sucks. I must stop for a moment and make that clear. Not as much as Missouri, but they suck. After Self left Illinois to coach at KU, a quasi-rivalry has risen between U of I and KU. I say quasi because the teams haven’t actually played a game against each other since Self came to KU. This rivalry exists purely on the level of shit talking between idiots like me who care enough to read (and those even dumber – to post on) these message boards. But enough back story. The Illini suck.

So, for weeks the buzz from those in “the know” has been Collins to KU. Usually, enough gossip one way or another is enough to indicate what’s up, both in politics and sports. Collins was thus in Lawrence for his official visit to KU, which was timed to coincide with the festivities that accompany the first official practice for the KU basketball team.

Now, I’m going to speculate as to why Collins committed. I was in Lawrence on Friday, the same day as Collins. It was 85 degrees, sunny, calm, and absolutely gorgeous. This alone isn’t enough, but I believe it helps KU immensely. KU has low expectations just like a bad politician. Here’s the view of the state of Kansas: flat as a pancake (true), terrible weather (sometimes true), no ocean (definitely true), and no culture (kinda somewhat true). So, with these views of Kansas in mind, a recruit shows up for their visit. Someone with good foresight put the campus of KU on the only hill in the state, along one of two rivers in Kansas, and in one of the few places with trees. Coupled with historic buildings and the money of a big time university in town, and Lawrence is actually quite beautiful. Especially on gorgeous spring and fall days, when most recruits visit. Therefore, one of the few liabilities of the program is completely neutralized, just like a politician considered retarded gets points by showing up at a debate and speaking in complete sentences. Thus, a trip to Lawrence is really an advantage when other programs have been telling recruits how bad it would be to live in Kansas.

That’s the first reason. The second is the fact that 16,000 plus go to that Late Night practice. And it’s on ESPN (ok, ESPN2, but still). For PRACTICE, we’re talking about PRACTICE (thank you AI). It’s loud, and there’s banners, and there’s basketball alum, like Wilt, Danny Manning, and Paul Pierce. Not as great as Jordan et al at NC, but good. And you know all your games will be on television, most on ESPN and some on network TV. Everyone wants to be famous.

Third, Bill Self is cool. I was eating a hamburger at Jefferson’s on Mass (the main street in Lawrence – the “downtown” if you will [and I did]). Bill Self walked by, and he was just strollin’. With Self was one of last year’s recruit Julian Wright, who was also a highly-ranked prep player from Chicago, wearing a shirt that said “Lottery Pick”. They make an impression.

Women. That’s the final reason. I think there are seriously underrated hot girls in Lawrence. There are the blondes from Minnesota, Jewish girls from Chicago, and Southern girls as well. And I’m guessing those boys on the basketball team get what they want. And they can party with them – you can drink and get high from day one on campus, and no one’s going to give you shit unless you start a fight.

Collins is the fifth five-star recruit to commit to KU in two years. I welcome him, and the others: the scoring point guard Mario Chalmers out of Alaska, the Mike Dunleavy clone out of Seattle Micah Downs, Mr. Wright mentioned earlier, and Brandon Rush, a 6’8” swingman with 42” vertical.

That’s why no one cares that KU football absolutely sucks.