Nintendo games with Trent Green and Marty Schottenheimer

The AFC playoff picture is a bit cloudy. Shockingly, as the expert analysts state every year in every sport, there are a couple of good teams (Steelers and Colts) and a couple of bad teams (Texans and Browns) and a bunch of teams in the middle. Isn’t it amazing how there’s always a washed-up quarterback to give us this gem. Half the analysts will say this, and the other half will go with the exact opposite cliché of “parity”. Thanks, so helpful. Some teams are good, some are bad, and sometimes the bad teams beat the good teams. WOW.

Now that I’ve complained about that, I will give you the same discussion. There will be, however, two small differences. First, this discussion will what you could term as KC-centric as it will look at the AFC mostly through the lens of what the season will entail for the Chiefs. Second, I will assign each AFC team a Nintendo game to represent it.

Tanooki Mario sucks
Nintendo ruled the 80s. Now known as NES due to the later systems that Nintendo put out, the original Nintendo revolutionized video games and launched the current multi-billion dollar industry. I believe that the NES should only be called “Nintendo”, as it far outshone the later versions that the Nintendo company put out (with only N64 MarioCart challenging the original for pure entertainment value). Nintendo was only dethroned by the Sony Playstation in the 90s. The Sega Genesis could perhaps be considered an equal to Nintendo on the back of Madden, FIFA, and Sonic, but I’m not willing to give it a superior rating.

There are obviously innumerable Nintendo games, but I’m only going to highlight those games that I have personal experience with. I’m sure there are others that may be worthy that I simply have not experienced. Alas, I am limited by my own perceptions: we are all but poor souls chained in a cave perceiving shadows on the wall…

Just Terrible

Houston Texans (1-7) / BattleToads
I don’t know why, but I always feel terrible for quarterbacks drafted high in the first round that turn out to be just terrible. Jeff George was the first – drafted number one and he just never won consistently. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, I suppose it’s like watching a movie where a character just completely embarrasses themselves and it’s physically uncomfortable to watch. That’s how I feel for these types of picks that just turn out to be busts – embarrassed for them, embarrassed for the men who drafted the losers, it’s just uncomfortable for everyone…

Yes, we’re talking about you David Carr. Looking back, it was obvious this would happen. Remember when his Fresno State team beat like Colorado and a couple of other middling BCS teams and everyone was like, oh damn, Fresno State’s gonna screw up the BCS, what a story, what’s gonna happen?! Then they lost two or three games later in the year and then it dawned on everyone, oh yeah, they’re just a decent WAC team (or whatever hell conference they play in out there [yes, I know it’s the Mountain West {or is the Big West?}]). But David Carr parlayed it into being the number-one draft pick. And now, he sucks. I know, he gets sacked every other pass attempt, but still, he hasn’t really shown a lot. So he joins the embarrassingly sucky quarterback club, with Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Ryan Leaf, Joey Harrington, and Rick Mier.

It’s somewhat amazing that the second team in Texas is always such an also-ran. The Texans are the most irrelevant team in the NFL. The Oilers weren’t champs or anything, but at least they were relevant with the “House of Pain”, Warren Moon and Heywood Jeffries, and it was really cool when Buddy Ryan punched that guy. But the Texans? Who cares?

BattleToads was the Texans of Nintendo games. A good concept – battling amphibians (or are they reptiles?) – that borrowed a lot from earlier concepts (Oilers for the Texans, Ninja Turtles for BattleToads), but ended up mostly sucking. This game was not as boring as some other games were, but it just never really delivered anything. I’d put it in, play a couple of levels, and then just turn it off. It wasn’t clear what the goal was, and there was a stupid stage involving repelling down into endless well. Any game with stages that prominently featured the possibility of dying by falling off a rope is just frustratingly dumb. And then I never played the game again. It was irrelevant. Like the Texans.

Chiefs related tidbit: The Chiefs began their existence as the Dallas Texans in the old AFL. Most of you should know that…

Predictions:
Remaining W’s: Arizona, @ San Fran.
Remaining L’s: @ Indy, KC, St. Louis, @ Balt., @ Tenn., Jax.
Final Record: 3-13
Possible Spoiler Game: 11/20 vs. Kansas City – Texans beat the Chiefs in Arrowhead last year. If Houston wins at home this year they would put the Chiefs’ playoff hopes in serious doubt.

Tennessee (2-7) / Batman
Should struggle for the next 20 years after the bullshit Music City Miracle.
IT
WAS
A
FORWARD
PASS.

Please do not argue. It’s not even really close.

Instant Karma’s gonna get you. Plus, Jeff Fisher is too busy in his second career as a NASCAR driver. Who do you think you are? A Superstar? Right you are…

I had great hopes for Batman the video game. But the game was frustratingly difficult. First, the different weapons are stupid. The punch was next to useless; the boomerangs were not something Batman would use; and the pistol shot rocket things rather than bullets. The expanding fireball was cool it annihilated everything, but you could only use it a couple of times. The sticking to walls jumping thing also was out of character for Batman as it was something Spiderman does. Batman just flies or attaches a wire to the ceiling and shoots up with a wire.

I don’t think I ever advanced beyond the second level with some stupid acid drips. And I’ve never watched more than a fraction of a Titans game. So Batman the crappy Nintendo game meet the Titans the crappy NFL team.

Predictions
Remaining W’s: San Fran, Houston.
Remaining L’s: Jax, @ Indy, Seattle, @ Miami, @ Jax.
Final Record: 4 -12
Spoiler games: 11/20 Jax, 12/18 Seattle (NFC playoff implications). I have a hard time keeping the Jaguars and the Titans straight. The Jaguars’ physical black quarterback is Leftwich right? I think the Jaguars are better this year, but the Titans could win at home (which is Nashville right?).

And we all shine on…

Cleveland Browns (3-5) / Rad Racer
Ohhhh, so sad, Baltimore stole your team. Try holding a lead against the Broncos in the last two minutes, losers. Build a new stadium lame-os. I never liked the Browns. I was not sad when they left. But then they came right back! Unprecedented! And they're still shitty…

But I did always like Eric Metcalf.

The current team I’m rather neutral on. They fired Butch Davis after some mediocre years. The Chiefs did get their luckiest win of all-time a couple of years ago during their completely fraudulent 9-0 start, with the defensive limeman taking his helment as the Chiefs got the ball into Cleveland territory on the last play of the game on a broken play completion to an offensive lineman, resulting in a penalty, which allowed the Chiefs to kick the game-winning field goal. That was cool.

Regardless, the Browns are no bueno. I like the Michigan rookie – Braylon Edwards. I don’t know that Romeo Cornell is ready to be an NFL head coach. This year? They’re a non-factor.

How rad was Rad Racer? Not very. First, you were never really racing anyone. It was solely against the clock. So the other cars were pretty much irrelevant. Sometimes though, and get this, they would switch lanes to try and cause you trouble. This game required almost constant turning, which wore the hell out of your thumbs. And it was a hard game. After playing a game like this for a couple months, it shouldn’t be that difficult to beat. But I don’t believe I ever beat Rad Racer.

The good parts of the game were that you could change the song and it had a 3D-setting. There were about three songs, but still a cool concept that early in the video game era. The 3D-setting pretty much didn’t work. If you pressed select the graphics would switch to the “3D” and the game came with glasses. I think they developed the game solely to market the 3D, which wasn’t any good. That’s why this game is the Browns.

Predictions
Remaining W’s: Tenn, @ Minn.
Remaining L’s: @ Pitt., Jax, @ Cincy, @ Oakland, Pitt., Balt, @ Miami.
Final Record: 4-12
Possible Spoiler…12/4 host Jacksonville – Jaguars have a somewhat anemic passing offense this year, so Cleveland could give them a run at home. Most likely though, not.

Teams somewhat Sucky, somewhat Unlucky

Buffalo (3-5) / DragonWarrior
The Bills are like the Buffalo Bills of football. Oh wait they are the Bills. Thurman Thomas can’t find…nevermind.
I think the Bills are ok. They play in some cold-ass weather. They make the playoffs a lot, they had the Juice and Flutie. They’ll be back. I thought they looked quite good against the Pats last week and should have won the game. McGhee is a great back, solid receivers, solid defense. Kelly Holcomb just isn’t an NFL quarterback.

Chiefs tidbit: they killed Joe Montana in the AFC championship game and dashed the Chiefs’ best shot at the Super Bowl in a couple of decades.

I could write a novel about DragonWarrior. I spent hours upon hours playing this game, but it’s something I’m not proud of. My brother thought this game was the stupidest of all-time, and he may have been right.

So why was it so addictive? It’s in the same vein as Dungeons and Dragons and Everquest and all those other addictive for weirdos fantasy games. There’s something cool about wandering around fighting different creatures and getting different weapons. Everyone loves ancient weapons like swords and bow and arrows. The moment when you find the hidden door behind the throne and beat down the DragonMaster? Oh yeah, highlight nation.

So why is DragonWarrior the Bills? Because I feel like the Bills fans probably feel about the Bills how I feel about DragonWarrior. They invested years and years into the team, felt great when Frank Reich came back to beat the Oilers in the playoffs, all those Super Bowls…and they NEVER won it all. Probably kinda seems like a waste of time…

Predictions
Remaining W’s: Carolina, @ Miami, New England.
Remaining L’s: KC, @ San Diego, Denver, @ Cincy, @ Jets.
Final Record: 6-10
Spoiler: 11/13 KC, 12/11 New England – I think they split these two home games. They had New England on the ropes, and it being a divisional game makes it slightly more heated. Therefore, KC a loss, NE a win. Could easily go the other way.

Baltimore (2-5) / Ninja Turtles Arcade Style
I strongly dislike this team. I dislike Ray Lewis, and I think he’s overrated. There’s no one in the world who would not be overrated with the hype he gets. And he watched someone get stabbed and killed, and bailed out. I don’t really know the exact story, but I’m gonna make an assumption that when that kind of shit goes down, and you get charged with murder, there was some decent evidence that you did something inappropriate. But yes, he was acquitted.

Jamal Lewis was not acquitted. He spent his off-season in JAIL. And you wonder why he’s having a down year? Because he was in PRISON.

I hate all the Miami players they have. I hate how they call it the U. One of my favorite college games is still the Sugar Bowl when Alabama under Gene Stalling (1992ish? – I should look it up…) kicked the crap out Miami for the title.

And they have a stupid nickname. The Ravens? I know, I know, the whole literary reference. I respect that. I appreciate what Edgar Allen Poe did. The imagery he used, the use of the fantastic and the supernatural introduced an element that was sorely lacking in American literature. But I feel like Ambrose Bierce did it as well and did it better. Not to mention the Russian writers like Pushkin and Gogol with equally impressive tales of the supernatural. And the Raven is probably the weakest Poe work anyway. Like Lisa Simpson said, I guess people were easier to scare back in the day.

Chiefs Tidbit: The year following their Super Bowl victory, the Ravens signed ex-Chief QB and goat Elvis Grbac to “upgrade” from Trent Dilfer. The franchise has been pretty much junk since.

The first Nintendo Ninja Turtles was actually fairly sweet, but it was ruined by the arcade game that was pretty much the shit. I didn’t go to the arcade much as a kid, but this game was at the skating ring, and we went there at least twice a year for school trips. When the decline in public education is discussed, I think that the school trip to the skating ring (or is it rink? I’ve never understood that either…) as part of the problem, at least in Wichita, Kansas. The point is that’s where I played this game and it was cool. Four people could play, because, yes, there are FOUR ninja turtles. It was just pure fighting. Half the time you couldn’t tell which turtle you were and would just push buttons.

The Nintendo game wasn’t as good because there were only two controllers. Sure, there was the thing that allowed four controllers, but that thing was like the pad you could run on, or the glove you could box with, it might as well not existed for us. No one was going to buy those things for us…

Ed Reed and Ray Lewis look like turtles.

Predictions
W’s: Cincy, Houston, Green Bay, @ Cleveland.
L’s: @ Jax, Steelers, @ Cincy, Minnesota, @ Denver.
Final Record: 7-9

Big Games: 11/20 Pittsburg, 11/13 @ Jax – played the Steelers tough last week in Pittsburgh, and the Jaguars will have a hard time scoring points. But damn, Anthony Wright sucks.

NY Jets (2-5)
I actually feel for the Jets this year. There’s not a better back in the game than Curtis Martin. Ok, maybe there’s one. LaDanian Tomlinson. And right there with Martin is Mr. Alexander, from Alabama. Remember Shermin Williams at Alabama? I swear that guy played there for ten years. So, I’ll go LT number one, and then Martin and Alexander. As much as it kills me, I don’t think Priest is up there anymore. He’s great, but he’s injury prone, and I’m not sure how much he has benefited from the scheme and the line of the Chiefs (much like Denver backs). But he has been amazing to watch.

The Jets were done in week one when it was obvious that Chad Pennington couldn’t throw ten yards with the injuries he has. And then their backup went down and they’re back to throwing Vinny out there. Just not going to work…

Ninja Gaiden II was a fun game that didn't really go anywhere. Like the Jets.

Predictions
W’s: New Orleans, Oakland, Buffalo.
L’s: San Diego, @ Carolina, @ Denver, @ New England, @ Miami, New England.
Record: 5-11

Close to not being crap…
Oakland (3-5) / Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
I know that a lot of you Nintendo kids probably liked Zelda. If you did please send me a note about what the hell you’re supposed to do in that game. I never got more than 15 minutes into it. There’s the stupid part where you walk through the grass and stab the little bad guys, but then it’s a lot of walking around. It’s a great concept – DragonWarrior (see below) style strategy stuff but where you actually get to do the fighting. Two games in one! But like I said, it was lost on me.

That’s why the Raiders are Zelda. They are always a great concept. Oh, Jerry Rice and Tim Brown together – they should be good! Oh, Randy Moss! But we’re still no good!

(Yes, it’s true, the Raiders were in the Super Bowl recently. What’s that? Oh, I don’t know the last time the Chiefs were in the Super Bowl, I wasn’t born yet. Shut up.)

Predictions
W’s: Denver, Miami, Cleveland, Giants.
L’s: @ Washington, @ San Diego, @ Jets, @ Denver,
Record: 7-9

Miami (3-5) / Bases Loaded II
Can you really blame Ricky? He thought he had all the money he could need. He didn’t want to deal with people anymore, didn’t want to learn plays and get drilled once a week anymore. Plus, he was high a lot. I think his decision making was slightly flawed. So now he’s gotta get his 8 mill back. It’s all good with me Ricky.

I think the Dolphins are going to be really good soon. I like Nick Saban as a coach, and I think Ronnie Brown will be a great back. They already have the defense. Another year of good drafting and they should be right there in a no longer so tough AFC East.

Bases Loaded II is a solid game that just wasn’t quite there yet. It was fairly fun, but the technology wasn’t there to make a really good baseball game yet. You couldn’t choose the type of pitch you threw, but could mix it up pretty well with different speeds and different locations. You could always fool the computer when running the bases. The computer could not make a play in a rundown, it would always screwup. So free runs were always available if you could get on base.

They didn’t have real teams on the game either, which was highly dissappointing. You had to be generic teams with generic players. And I swear I saw a brawl once after a someone was hit by a pitch, but I could never make it happen again. I certainly tried, I must of beaned 300 hitters trying to provoke a fight.

But the reason this game is the Dolphins is that you’d have to be Ricky to really enjoy it. The season took FORVER to play through to the playoffs, so you’d always lose the password or interest before the end of the year. If you had some Ricky-quality herb you might be able to stay interested long enough. And they had this weird biorhythm charts that indicated how well your players would play that you’d need a Ricky-inspired new age medical degree to understand.

Predictions
W’s: @ Cleveland, Jets, Tennessee.
L’s: New England, @ Oakland, Buffalo, Jets, @ New England.
Final Record: 6-10

Possible Wildcards

Kansas City (5-3) / Super Spike Volleyball/World Cup Soccer
Man, it’s been tough to be a Chiefs fan. I know, you’ve heard me whine about the Royals already. The Chiefs are much better than the Royals. The Chiefs go to the playoffs; the Chiefs are relevant. But they always choke in the divisional home playoff game.

But tonight, I don’t care. The Chiefs swept the Raiders with a stunning 27-23 win for their fifth in a row against Oakland. The win keeps us (yeah, I’m calling the Chiefs us, I play for them) one game behind Denver with a home game against the Broncos still upcoming and also keeps us a game ahead of San Diego – who you gotta think is going to be our main competition for a wild card.

Chris Berman loves Dick Vermeil for his call to go for it with five seconds left and no timeouts from the one yard line. I have to say I think it’s a stupid call against any team other than the Raiders. Only the Raiders would let Larry Johnson dive in for the easy score with the game on the line.

I am a bit worried about having to go to the last play against Oakland at home in Arrowhead. I feel like Trent Green has been a little out of synch with the team from missing time for his father’s death, but he’s played very well in such a difficult time. His dad was young, you really have to feel for him and the way he’s come to work is admirable.

Priest was also out injured. I don’t know what to think about Priest right now with Larry Johnson playing well enough to be a star. I think it may be time to switch the roles a bit, with LJ getting at least half the snaps rather than the third he has been getting up to now. I still love Priest’s pass catching and his blocking. And he’s no slouch running the ball either – smart, strong, and he SCORES TOUCHDOWNS. Regardless, I’d like to see them splitting time and playing well, and I think they will be soon.

The defense looks better too. I did not get to watch the game today, but Randy Moss had one catch for seven yards. Sure, it was for a touchdown, but one catch for seven yards? That’s not bad. Jared Allen and Derrick Johnson have something we’ve been missing since Derrick Thomas: speed. It’s good to have some of that on defense.

But, we’ve yet to win a game we’re not supposed to win. So we’ll see. I’d like to see us win the next two on the road against Buffalo and Houston to set up a showdown with New England at Arrowhead. That’d be exciting.

Speaking of exciting that brings us to Super Spike VBall and World Cup Soccer. Why these games were on the same cartridge I don’t know. Why did Carl Peterson draft Larry Johnson in the first round with Priest Holmes on the team and the league’s worst defense? I don’t know, but I like it.

Super Spike has fun game play and a simple set-up. You picked your guys and then played against the other guys. There was the American circuit and the World Cup act, a good selection of guys you could play with, and the gratuitous Nintendo boob shots. It was also a great two-player game. And you can make stars with your hands for super blocks or super spikes for a special thrill of excitement.

And World Cup I remember for two things: the ability to knock the opposing players out and the super shots. You could be real nations like Brazil or Germany, and each team had its own special super shot you could fire up. We would mostly try to know out all the other players on the field so it looked like they were all massacred. Great stuff.

Predictions
W’s: @ Buffalo, @ Houston, New England, Denver, Cincy.
L’s: @ Dallas, @ Giants, San Diego.
Record: 10-6
Big games: 11/27 vs. New England (just because it’s the defending champs), 12/4 vs. Denver (revenge game and possibly for the AFC West crown), 12/24 vs. San Diego (what better way to celebrate baby Jesus?).

San Diego (4-4) / Ducktales
Man, Antonio Gates is tough and LaDanian Tomlison is the best player in the league. So how is this team going to miss the playoffs? A weak defense and a lack of a secondary receiving threat. Or maybe they kick the Redskins and Broncos asses and win the AFC West. But I don’t think so.

I’m going leave the Ducktales cartoon out of this, except to say that it was one of the most influential shows of my youth. But the game was good. Enough secret rooms to keep things interesting, five very different levels, and difficult enough to be challenging but also beatable. But what was up with the statue heads that became cakes in the Transylvania level?

Predictions
W’s: @ Jets, Buffalo, Oakland, Miami, @ Kansas City.
L’s: @ Washington, @ Indy, Denver.
Record: 9-7
Big game: obviously the division games with Denver and KC, but also 11/27 @ Washington. Interesting cross-conference match-up that San Diego cannot afford to lose.

Cincinnati (7-2) / Super Mario Bros.
The Bengals helped get me hooked on the NFL and the original Mario Bros. got me hooked on Nintendo, and at about the same time as well. The Super Bowl in January 1989 between the 49ers and the Bengals was such a good game. My sister Debbie was such a big Niners fan (and Bulls fan – yeah, yeah) so I obviously was for the Bengals. I also licked Icky and the Icky Shuffle (but how could you not be?). So when the Bengals got a big kick return for a touchdown I thought I had it over Debbie. But then I learned why people talked about Joe Montana a little bit differently than every other NFL player as he marched them down and won it. I was pissed off at the time, but I don’t remember why I cared about the Bengals then as I haven’t since.

Mario Bros. I only liked to play straight through. I always thought there was something a little dishonest about warping to the end. Also wasn’t as much fun. But couldn’t damn Toad tell you that the princess was in another castle before you spent all that time taking down Boozer?

Predictions
W’s: Baltimore, Cleveland, Buffalo.
L’s: Indy, @ Detroit, @ Steelers, @ KC.
Record: 10-6
Big game: 12/4 @ Steelers.

Jacksonville (5-3) / Jaws
Bryon Leftwich looks like Jaws.

I think the Jaguars will sneak into the playoffs on the back of a weak schedule. They have to play Indy twice, but they should pick up easy wins against the two weak sisters (sorry that’s slightly misogynistic) of their division – Houston and Tennessee. First round loss.

If you can drop bombs on the jellyfish you get more conch shells! The best part of this game is the ending. It’s unbelievably frustrating. They give you some strobe lights to “shock” Jaws out of the water, which doesn’t make sense, and then you have to stab him with your boat. All this despite having a minisub with missiles and a plane that can drop bombs. I guess they were getting repaired.

Predictions
W’s: Baltimore, @ Tennessee,@ Cleveland, San Fran, @ Houston, Tennessee
L’s: Indy, @ Arizona
Record: 11-5

Division Champs

New England (4-3) / Mike Tyson’s Punchout

I don’t care about Teddy Bruschi. I don’t think he’s being selfish. I wish him well.

So moving on, why is New England not so good this year? Or are we being fooled again? I think it’s the latter. They’ll win this weak division. They still have probably the best quarterback in the AFC (or one of the best two) and one of the best running backs with Corey Dillon. They definitely have the best coach and they’re the two-time defending champs. I don’t really want to talk about the Patriots. I’m kinda annoyed they’ve won three titles. I don’t hate them like I hated the Cowboys when they where winning titles, but still, they’re slightly dull…

Unlike Punchout. Punchout is the champ of Nintendo games. From the slightly inappropriate stereotypes (Glass Joe the pussy Frenchman, Soda Popinski the drunk Pole or Russian, and the Hippo guy fat native from Fiji guy) to Little Mac’s endless training runs in his pink sweats. But seriously, it isn’t like Nintendo games needed time to load did they? Why the 5 minute scene of Mac running with the fatty trainer guy on the bike? It was just a lot of fun to fight all the different guys – and it wasn’t really that repetitive. I can still play this game for an hour without being bored. Having your friends yell things like “Duck” when Piston Honda II or the Sandman was pounding Mac’s face was fun too.

Predictions
W’s: @ Miami, New Orleans, NY Jets, Tampa Bay, @ NY Jets, Miami
L’s: Indy, @ KC, @ Buffalo
Record: 10-6
Big game: Indy tonight – should be good. I really don’t know what to expect, but I’m going with Indy (I guess).

Denver (6-2) / Tetris
I’m not sold on Denver this year yet. I still feel that Plummer is basically a crappy quarterback, and they haven’t proven much on the road yet. With all three divisional road games left as well as a trip to Dallas – this could be a 10-6 team on the outside of the playoffs. But if they get homefield advantage, they should be very tough to beat.

Oh yeah, Denver’s got the system. Hold the hell out of people and ran past them. But really, you have to respect the line play and the running scheme that the Broncos have year after year. It’s like they have a bunch of blocks that you just have to fit together in a certain way but in a way that avoids leaving holes while listening to Russian music…

Oh wait, that’s Tetris! I don’t know if there’s a simpler game or a better game. I think that tells us something about life doesn’t it? That I’m easily entertained…

Predictions
W’s: NY Jets, @ Dallas, Baltimore, @ Buffalo, Oakland.
L’s: @ Oakland, @ KC, @ San Diego
Record: 11-5
Big game; @ KC, 12/31 - @ San Diego – should be a great way to end the year.

Pittsburgh (6-2) / Super Tecmo Bowl
If you’ve watched football in the last ten years you know about the Steelers. They run the ball and give up no points and win at home. Etc., etc.

Super Tecmo Bowl made Madden possible. It let you be any team in the NFL, and it KEPT YOUR STATS AND STANDINGS. This is was just huge, and made it the most entertaining game ever made at that time.

The only problem is that every Madden and NCAA football game made since is better. Unlike Mario 3 or Punchout, it just doesn’t stand up still. But it was first, and it was revolutionary.

Predictions
W’s: Cleveland, Cincinnati, Chicago, @ Minnesota, @ Cleveland, Detroit
L’s: @ Baltimore, @ Indy
Record: 12-4.

Indy (7-0) / Super Mario 3
Indy shows you that good things come to those who wait – they’ve kept this team together long enough for a defense to finally emerge. I don’t think Indy goes undefeated, but I think they’re likely in the Super Bowl. Payton, ho hum. Not much to write about.

Mario 3 brought it all together though. After the disaster of Mario 2 (why was I throwing things at the dinosaur’s head?), this game vindicated Mario and sent Toad and Princess back to the supporting roles they should be playing. The map screen and the ability to collect items brought in new elements that have become ubiquitous in video games today. I loved the hammer bros. suit, but what was up with the Tanooki suit? You could become a statute – what a weapon! Stupid.

Predictions
W’s: @ New England, Houston, Pittsburgh, Tennessee, @ Jacksonville, Sand Diego, Arizona.
L’s: @ Cincinnati, @ Seattle
Record: 14-2.

Playoffs -

Wildcard Round:
New England over Jacksonville
Denver over Kansas City

Divisional
Pittsburgh over Denver
Indy over New England

Championship
Indy ties Pittsburgh